Interaction between people is a complex thing even at the best of times, misunderstanding and feeling misunderstood is common place. Which definitely doesnt come under the heading of good communication and is certainly not the advanced way NLP can teach us.
There are a great number of factors that contribute to this outcome and here are just a few of them.
Factor number 1: Now this is usually the biggest problem, which is we get mentally triggered to an emotional response.
This can be anything from a positive response all the way out to a massive unwarranted extreme negative response, which can be the case all to often.
The emotional response then causes us to skew the meaning of the experience so as to justify the emotion that has been triggered.
All normal everyday sensible logic gets thrown out of our minds and we then project a negative meaning onto the person actions.
Factor number 2: We tend to on a daily basis to simply communicate in a natural unconscious style of our own, with no awareness as to how the person we are communicating with prefers to receive and process information.
We can be far to vague for them to understand or far to detailed for them to follow. Or perhaps the words we choose to use simply do not connect and resonate for them enough to engage them.
And finally Factor number 3: We spend most of our lives and almost all of our communication assuming we are being understood! We have an expection that weve been understood because it all seems so clear in our own minds?
Everyday communication has all of these 3 factors, people interact in this way all the time!
We could be discussing, politics, our work, our dreams hopes and aspirations, we still do it this way, in-fact the more important the subject, the more we will do it.
Human relations tend to get stressed and strained because we are constantly miss-communicating.
This is not very effective, satisfying or fulfilling and that is why we teach people a better way.
NLP Training is how we do it, the give away is in the name Neuro Linguistic Programming.
Whether you study the practitioner level material or maybe the Master Practitioner level which is significantly more advanced, you are likely to make massive positive changes in your communication.
There are effectively 3 things that you will learn in these trainings that will have a positive impact on your interactions and communication.
1. Learning to control your mental and emotional state!
2. Becoming far more sensory aware!
3. Learning to say it the way that you want it and recognising the message is actually received.
Sounds good! But is it easy?
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Learning new behavioural skills can be a bit tricky, though there is a system for making it easy and this is what we teach in both of our available NLP Courses.
New Skill Number 1: Being in totally control of your state. Ask yourself have you ever done something that you have regretted and can now notice the behaviour was driven by an out of control state?
Have you perhaps limited yourself because of fear or anxiety? Maybe you havent done something you wanted to do because you lacked the confidence?
This is mostly because, in that moment you allowed yourself to be consumed by the negative emotional state.
The interesting thing is that now when you look back on it because you are no longer engaged in it the charge will be less or even gone and you will be aware now of so many more positive options.
Controlling your state in this way, not climbing into a negative and limiting space will always serve you better and give you more choices in the moment.
New Skill Number 2: Becoming significantly more Sensory aware. Knowing for certainly what’s real and recognising easily what’s not. We are all guilty of taking literally nothing and creating it into something. Seeing a mole hill and imagining it to be a mountain.
This is the process of effecting our perceptions of reality, we allow ourselves to see only what we believe is already there. And anything else that might conflict with that, we make it literally disappear.
Reality only truly exists in our imaginations!
We feel what we feel and then we must project out into reality all the things that would validate that feeling.
The skill is to STOP! take a moment and think about the situation. And really think about it, what tangible evidence is there to support what you are choosing to believe to be REAL?
And our third and final skill 3.
New Skill Number 3: Which I believe to be one of the very best skills. That is the skill of being in control of your language, choosing your words with volition.
Our words convey meaning, they create pictures in the mind of the listener and a word that seems positive to you could have a completely different meaning for them. The words you use will trigger for the listener an internal representation of reality, their reality not yours.
The Pictures that you language creates could easily have effective and influential positive meaning. Which will stimulate for the listener a nice pleasant experience.
But is your words are carelessly chosen then you can easily and unintentionally force the listener to associate into a negative experience. That will make for a nasty unpleasant experience.
To learn these powerful techniques you would have to learn NLP. Learning the rules that define reality from illusion. Learning the power of controlling the levels of specificity and ambiguity. And of course learning how to be able to only say exactly what you mean every time. become a master of influence and persuasion by study NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner Material.